Marketing Director

I would like to create "Angry Cereal" or maybe "Angry Candy." The cover of the box is a closeup of an angry face. The mouth is large and chewing agressively. This product would feature a hard crunch outside, almost like raw granola maybe, or sugar crystallized nuts, and the inside would be chewy, maybe like gummy candy or dried fruit. Thus stimulating the mouth with a hard crunch crunch and then satisfying bloodlust with a soft, eating-your-enemies-mouthfeel center.

I have been very angry this week, at everything from cats to people to dirt (not to forget my stupid job!). My eyes are wide and my pupils are small. WTF?

Angry Juice already exists though. It's called spicy V-8 and it happens to be very delicious, even when you're not angry. I can just rip it off and put a new angrier cover on it to match the rest of my angry products.

Ooh, angry shoes! Red sneakers with treads ON THE INSIDE, so that they're slightly uncomfortable and exfoliating.

Angry underwear. Stained red so even if you have a female accident it doesn't matter because they already look wounded and gross. The logo is the angry mouth only. Right over your coochy.

Angry razors (already used disposable razors).

Angry KUNG POW KICK! Little red led lights that attach to the undersides of your arms and legs, so that when you're kicking and punching fast, red light streaks behind your limbs in a cool way.

Angry breathing! Lacerate your lungs the easy way. Not recommended for amateurs, unless they're REALLY angry.

Angry purse. Growls and zips closed on hand when anyone touches it who doesn't know the proper strap tightening sequence, zip pattern, thumb print, retinal scan, whatever. Bright red with teeth.