The Waiting Game

My life is officially on hold. Why am I doing this? Audrey thinks it's because people like us are in permanent student mode, where life is divided into sections and you have to wait for the next section before you can do something new. For this unit of 3 months, you are only allowed to do A, B, and C. The waiting though, it's really starting to sting. Enough of that. Gotta go gotta go go go.

I've been racing through this bitchin comic series, Transmetropolitan. I never thought I'd enjoy comic books so much but I just can't get enough. Good thing Ted owns the entire series through book 10.

Every time I feel like I do now, desperate to change the world, change myself, and use my limited energy more productively, I start comparing myself to our distant ancestors. They probably didn't feel this desperation, they were just trying to live and love and all that. No desperation to constantly be in action or entertained, to figure out what to do with their lives, to change things for the better. I ask myself why can't I be more like that. But it's silly to compare myself to them because these are different circumstances. They didn't feel the need to save the world because it didn't need saving. Sure, there were plenty of problems, but the world wasn't rolling towards annhiliating itself. Different times set different sets of genes in action. Some new ones of mine have been turned on recently. They create chemicals that buzz in anticipation of the great race, the new order, the old order, whatever is going to happen. There is no time for waiting and wasting energy. There is only now and this thing that we all are. Enough beating on the head for failure to be ambitious. You are ambitious, it just doesn't have much to do with money or a career. No more waiting. Watch carefully, because things are about to change. It is time for the greatest self-delusion of your life! Hiii-yaa!