Shifting winds

Today was lovely. It got warmer and I walked on our beach for the first time. I also wrote to friends, talked to my mother, and opened my first joint checking account (Ack ack ack!!!).

The lamb korma I had for lunch was the creamiest smoothest korma ever. Like a korma smoothie. I wouldn't ave minded drinking it through a naan straw if it were possible to do so without making the naan too soggy.

Everything is alright again now that it's warm. All are forgiven.

Also I realized I've been meditating my whole life. I hate all the doctrine surrounding meditation, what with books, retreats, religious ceremony and tradition, self help internet sites and all. Everytime I look out a window, or blur my eyes in subway stations to see everyone and think nothing, I'm meditating. I did it all the time when I was in school. The ocean, a rainy window, the peaceful bus stop wait when I'm not in a rush, listening to music sitting in the passenger seat, it's all meditation of one sort or another. All my life people have asked me where I go during car rides. I don't talk but I look content they say. Yes, I am content. I love riding in cars and not driving. I am a master at doing nothing. Most people I know are not as good at doing nothing as I am. They get fidgety, they need to be doing something, reading, playing a game, talking, something, anything. I've never really understood this but if I hang around them too long it starts to affect me. If you're fidgety it makes me fidgety. I don't like it very much, I wish you'd stop.

This all sounds very self-important, but not to worry, I have many faults too. I get jealous and I'm almost debilitatingly shy and I often pass the blaim to others and people don't become real people in my mind until I've known them for some time. I know I know. But isn't it exciting when you fully realize one of your strengths? Do you remember the last time you did that? It doesn't really happen very often, at least for me. Maybe you are a cornucopia of virtuosity but me, I am more like an eyeglass case of the good stuff. It's time to pay more attention to the good and the bad.

"Nothing determines who we will become so much as those things we
choose to ignore." --Sandor McNab