Time to work

Alright, enough. I've had my fun. Yeah, it's been great with all the housewiving and self-care, cooking and cleaning, sleeping and sleeping. Time to work! But not just any work, real work. Time to learn physics and volunteer. I have an amazing amount of time and I'm just sitting on top of it worrying about where my life is going (or thinking about sex). So silly. I've been waiting for this for years, time to grab it. Took out a bunch of books on relativity and quantum physics and string theory yesterday, so that's a start. I can be the kind of student I always dreamed of being, when I had snuck in more than 4 hours of sleep that night. The kind that remembers what she read and has dreams about it and can tell kids about it.

So, I'm just gonna pause here and stop worrying about money and resumes, driving off career tracks and all that. Thinking about that stuff always gets me stuck doing nothing anyway, it's like I purposely try to thumb my nose at them by being as mentally lazy as possible. Nikhila pointed out to me today how ridiculous it would be to get some shitty part time job just to stop feeling guilty about using Francisco's money/being a drain on the system. Things will become profitable in their own time if I'm enjoying them enough. How about I actually make a difference and stop thinking that thoughts like this are cliche and hokey? Sounds like a PLAN.

God, I can't believe I have an MIT degree and never really understood Einstein's theory of relativity. It's embarrassing.

So, 3 part plan:
1) Get enough exercise, sleep and good food to have the mountains of energy required for ACCOMPLISHMENT
2) Use energy for education and making the world a better place
3) Use education for money. Later. Much later.


My dreams of the ideal office job are, I understand, basically impossible. So maybe if I rotated back and forth between self-employment and half-way decent office work, quitting one or the other as the money desperation (and perhaps boredom) or office politics becomes overwhelmingly bad, I will survive this lifetime ok. Think of me as a bouncing ping-pong ball. As I reach the extremes of my oscillation (representing self-employment and mainstream work) my disgust with life reaches maximum, but while I'm in the middle regions I'm generally pretty content. Fortunately this fictional graph I have mentally created is not a regular waveform with maximum slope at the zero value on the y axis. Mine is some sort of inverse wave (this probably exists in math but since I have no memory of math I cannot confirm either way. ha, education) with maximum slope at maximum absolute y values, resulting in a majority of x values (time) being close to zero and well within the "content" range. Maybe I should draw you a picture? Let me know, I have time to do it if you so desire.

Life is good!