Backlog

Audrey asked me what the deal is with my lack of blog entries. Basically, I've moved into a place with no internet, and my job blocks most of the fun sites, such as yahoo mail and blogger. Sadness! Right now the only time I get to catch up on this stuff is when I pay for internet during my lunch break or at the gym (very strong motivation for working out, I must say). I've been writing a lot of my thoughts in a little notebook I carry around, which I'm noticing right now has one blank page left. This is partly a result of last night. Last night was karaoke night. There was a british dude, Ben, who kept claiming he would be sad to have no memory of me the next day, as he was apologetically extremely drunk. I kept making little notes about myself and sticking them in his pockets, which he kept managing to lose. Finally he just gave me his email address. I'd like to write something to him, but it's hard to know what to say right now, all hungover and migrainous. I'll think of something. Maybe a love song he can give to Francisco. He kept singing about Francisco. Either he likes hearing himself say Francisco De-La-Torre or he's in love with the man.

My singing was, as usual, impeccable. The only part of myself I am on the overly self-confident side about, all other behaviors and physical attributes undergo extreme self-doubt from time to time.

To give you some of my life these past 2 weeks outside of the shameless drunken flirting with people I have no intention of getting into a relationship with that I've been doing, I'll transcribe some of my little-almost-full-notebook entries:

9/17
Riding on the bus sitting next to a clean-cut nice-smelling man in a suit, I fantasized about having a life that included having a bf who wore a suit and road on the bus with me to work. Then I reflected on the fact that anything can be normal. Finally, I realized that just because anything can become commonplace, doesn't mean they are all equal.
I wrote the above in the style of a school paper introductory paragraph. I often felt back then that my introductions were sufficiently profound as to stand alone, and fuck off rest-of-the-paper. I think that is the case here too.
(above written at 8am sitting next to the suit)

9/18

Oh. working.

9/19
I saw this ad for a product you add to lettuce to make a salad. The tagline was something like, what good is a salad without meat (and cheese)? I groaned when I saw it, but sitting in Kapai right now noshing on my honey ginger beef salad, I had the same thought. There's really nothing better for lunch than a super-protein-y salad. South Beach probably agrees.

9/22
Maybe buses digest the changed state of passengers. We enter in at the front and exit out the back, like in an organism. We are slightly different when we leave. Maybe the physical and mental change occurring in passengers gets expelled in a little packet that buses find delicious. How else could they keep morale up when travelling back and forth forever?



It's a bit of a pain writing things down that I found engaging at that moment in time. Most things are kind of boring to reiterate, it's like when you become known for a really good story, and by the 4th time around telling it, you feel nothing but shame and boredom and it's a struggle to get those words out. Maybe some people like telling that one really good story, but I think it's a pain in the butt. Especially listening to someone you hang around a lot telling that story to some new people, and they're all laughing and laughing.

Man my little notebook sure has a lot of numbers in it from this week. Hmmmm. It's amazing being single. I am way cooler when no one around me knows how much I fart. I finished painting and rearranging my new room. I was cursing myself for doing it halfway through, with wall paper scraps covering the floor and my new roomate running away to escape sealant fumes, and not having any time to chill out or go to the gym or read a book or call my mom, but now I'm so glad I did it. The bed is 1.5" shorter than the dimension of the room I wanted it to be lining, and I won't get into what I went through to move it, but that too was a fantastic move. My roomate is really messy, in a clutter way not in a frat boy way, but as long as the kitchen and bathroom remain reasonable, I won't care about the rest because of my amazing blue and red room.

I am busy, energetic, and beautiful. Francisco is being lovely. Every day is a great day.