Blank tank

I've felt so strange the past few days. Like there's something wrong with my eyes, or I took too much prescription painkiller or something. I did something super embarrassing Saturday night at Sarah's bday. That night I also: Left my purse in someone's car, cut open my knee, and used permanent sharpie marker to draw a mustache on Ken. I wasn't nearly as drunk as some other people, just really out of it. I didn't have an ounce of alcohol all day Sunday but still, the weirdness continued and I could barely hold a conversation with anyone at Christopher's Scopa thing. I think I lost more blood this time of the month than usual, maybe that was it. I also had various different types of bodily injury that lost some additional blood this week.

It was a great weekend, even with above brain fartage. It was really really fabulous performing again, even if it was only for a few minutes. What a rush. I love throwing heaps of energy on audiences and getting it thrown back at me. There is really no better feeling. Sex, true opening-up-with-someone-new conversations, caring for someone when they're sick, holding babies, and reaching the top of a challenging mountain hike are all pretty great, but I think performing well for a psyched audience is probably the best. I guess it's hard to compare these things. I feel so grateful to Jenny for presenting this African dance opportunity to me, I hadn't realized how exciting the drumming would get during a performance. The troup really makes a good show of it, they don't even need us dancers, although it's always good to have some coordinated activity to look at. I'm not that confident in my dancing but it doesn't even matter because of how awesome the music already is.

Today is the 5th of November, remember. I have purchased a box of fireworks because the period from November 2-5 is the only time of year you can legally buy fireworks in NZ. If this damn rain ever stops there will be a fireworks show tonight in the ocean next to downtown Wellington. This time last year we sat on the beach and tried to avoid all the horizontally-oriented fireworkage detonated by teenagers. We were eating vegetables because November was the raw challenge (seems more recent than that!) It was good, I hope to do the same this year.

Time is going so fast! I can't believe how much I've learned this year, it seems like an unusually large amount, almost like the few years before this I was amassing life experience, while this year I actually sat down and analyzed and assimilated it. It's taken until now for me to understand what I went through and learned in Japan.

Fascinating!