Today was not meant to be

Man today just does not want me around. I'm feeling super sad right now. No one's returning my email or phone calls, and I feel really left out and discarded. This definitely sucks. I hate when I feel like this.

I also hate that ever since all the shit went down in April-June, I constantly judge every action I make. I'm always considering, "Does this action/thought/writing mean I am a bad person? If I do this, does that make me not a bad person?" I've become obsessed with being a bad person, and things I can do to not be a bad person. It's not a good way to live. It's taken me a long time to realize I've been doing this.

:(

Please, may tomorrow be better.