own ness

I got paid for March!

After seeing several apartment shares that are totally filthy, or otherwise unsuitable, I began looking at studios in the East Bay. It turns out I can totally afford a studio over there! I don't know what condition they are in, but the pics have looked fine. I think it's time to change my search. If I don't end up living in one of 3 potential friend situations, I'm totally getting my own place. It would be an investment in furniture and kitchenware, but think of how exciting it would be! No roommate issues, I choose all the decor, no compromises, no one else's head space. I've never lived alone, I can't even imagine the excellence of it.

I have both the desire to nest and make a cozy place for myself, and a powerful urge to abandon everything and go off the grid. I'm too much of a weenie to do the latter, but the need is there. Real life is a stressful thing, and I have to force myself to keep on task. I'm trying to keep a buddhist perspective, that my challenges are exactly what I need, and the most useful times to find myself, but, yeah, we all know that doesn't work consistently. It definitely keeps me from totally freaking out though.