Get your Hohoq cigarettes here!

Party party party! I haven't danced in almost 2 months. If you're in the wrong country to be seein this on every street post and in every radio ad, here's the flyer for our party:



Stayed up last night sewing and painting money bags. Before that it was gold bricks and jeweled masks. Going for broke with this one.

Updates

The Cheat has mastered the art of leaving and returning to our house. The Sneak knows where we are but won't come back inside. We finally figured out how to trap her last night, but after an hour or two of meowing and waking up the whole house she finally figured out how to open the laundry room window and got out. It was really cool waking up in the middle of the night and standing in the kitchen in the middle of a cat tornado. They were nuts. They wouldn't stop moving and weaving through my legs in large erratic orbitals. Electron cats. Now it's raining and The Sneak is probably suffering out there somewhere, but is too retarded to come in.

So that's one less thing to worry about. In other news I gave myself a migraine last night by spray-painting inside the house, also probably influenced by the amount of chocolate I ate and the amount of tv I watched yesterday. Mistakes were made. I woke up today still pounding in pain, so Kris gave me a Vicadin. I've never had the pleasure before, Mr. Vicadin. I still had a headache but it was less important because my hands felt good and it was easy to take naps all day. I finally feel better, the Vicadin is still coursing through my veins, and this banana is delicious. Yay vicadin! I see how this stuff could be addictive. It's subtle, but it makes my body feel soft and luxuriously lazy. Perfect for this rainy rainy day.

Also, I talked to my mom this morning and apparently she's met this fantastic guy. She went to high school with him and thought he was pretty cool then, but she was too messed up about her mom and her sexuality and just about everything back then to show any interest. Apparently he is even cooler now. Artistic, warm and loving, relaxed, interested in life, playful...Those qualities that make being around other people for really long periods of time so great. Finally! She's had some lame ass dating experiences in recent years, it is about time. I'm so happy for her. He lives in Vermont and she lives in New York, but they've already planned out several back-and-forth trips, and this is probably a good thing to help them take things slow. Always important when one person is just going beginning the divorce process for their first marriage (Him. She's been divorced for over a decade now.) I hope I can meet him in December. He really liked Zombiachi and if he has as good taste as it sounds he does, he'll probably really like me too.

So in summary: Friends and family are good, I am high, I'm being predictably lame in keeping up with correspondence, the cats are ok and stupid, the rain wrecked some of my spray painting work but makes the air smell good, Kris is sleeping and enjoying her first day without parents, and tomorrow the A.S.S (After School Special) club will begin its first of what will hopefully be a monthly occurence short film project. We'll be rotating roles such as writer, producer, editor, director, etc through random lottery, to gain the necessary skillz. If you forget about us now you will know about us eventually, when we are lauded as artistic geniuses in a few years. You heard it here first.

Bye!

Sitting

I've been having this weird sensation lately where if I'm sitting in a comfortable spot or lying in bed reading, I'll suddenly feel this shift, almost like the earth has moved. Rather than making me dizzy though it just makes me more comfortable. A weird comfort shift. Lately I'm finding that leisure postures are more comfortable in general than they ever were before, which makes me realize that people involved in regular exercise are MORE comfortable when lounging about. So in order to be the ultimate lazy idler you must get regular challenging physical activity! Huh! I've been blaiming all the yoga for unusual physical changes, which is how I drew this conclusion.

So kids, exercise. It helps you be better at being lazy. Slouching doesn't have to hurt your back.

In other news, I am back. I'd been nervous and anxious since before getting here, and was seriously questioning my ability to travel, but it's all good again. We can play games and talk and in Novemeber I'll be Wwoofing up north for about 3 weeks, learning about permaculture and earthship-type housing and lots of other stuff agriculture. Either Sarah or Clodagh may join me, if they're hardcore enough. The other night a large group of us went up in the Bungee Rocket downtown, and that was very neat. I think it helped bring me back.

It's a mess

Our house is. We haven't lived together very long so haven't built up a good communication system yet. We trust each other, vaguely, but that trust is based on friendship and not on the reality of living together. And now that trust got a kick in the nuts. Blaim and anguish are being tossed around. Why? WHY? Because of the fucking cats. They're gone. AGAIN. We had 2 happy days of living with them and their first opportunity for escape they took it. I can't believe I have to live with this stress again. That was one of the worst periods of my non-depressed life (LIFEb), trying to find the Cheat last spring. I'm very angry, but I don't want to upset anyone further so I'm hiding here in my room right now. I'm afraid I'll say something useless and terrible if I go up there.

On another level I feel it's all my fault the cats are gone because I was bitching to Kris last night about the closed laundry door, since that door falls off the track. I got her to help open it, not realizing Joe had closed it to block access to the laundry room window.

On yet another level I feel terrible for Joe and Kris. I know the blame game is just because of how upset they are. I can't imagine what it's like to be them. $6000. Long distance The Cheat Recovery Operation. Waiting waiting waiting. Friends getting mad at us for putting them through hell and worry preparing the cats for their journey. Cats in quarantine. More waiting. Cats are here! They look great! It was all worth it, I love....wait, where are the cats? FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!

Ah, I had so many other things building up to write about. Things about walls and David Foster Wallace. He writes like there are no walls between his characters. It's a smooth run from brain to brain, censored thought to reality's actions. I feel out of control, sliding through his world in a matterless way.

Alright, I did get one thing not pertaining to the cats out. Sweet. This cat thing really isn't made any easier by the presence of Kris' parents either. I can feel her being stretched thinner and thinner as she continually tries to make everyone have a good time. Her parents are a huge drain on our young system. There is no spare energy. Barely enough oxygen. I'm in hiding from them too. It reminds me of my shortest relationship, when Marc Rios and I had a 2 week fling in college. At one point I got weirded out and hid from him for 2 days. I used the outdoor deck stairs to get from my room to the kitchen and outdoors. He called me out on it, which was a relief, so maybe I'm using this blog entry to call myself out. Hiding in your own home is for losers. I don't get why non-murderous humans scare me so much.

Picture time!

I dyed my hair blue today. Wanna see? I love this Photo Booth program that comes on all the new MacBooks. Francisco has it on his. I had a half hour of fun with it last week while everyone was away, so a couple of my pics have the old, brown, Vanessa 1.0 version.

Comic book hero:















ICU:















Blue on white:















She knows:















Suspicious:
















The Ardents left again today, for Christchurch (middle of the south island), because Kris' parents are in town. They are old. Kinda makes me confront my own parents' mortality, who are not that old, yet. YET YET YET. Also, her mother is an energy vortex. I think you know what I mean. Joe looked drained and worried this morning. Maybe worried is the wrong word because that implies he thinks there is a possibility for tedious or painful times, rather than an inevitability.

Francisco is working all weekend again. Knowing what I was getting into doesn't make me any more suave. I feel content about everything at the moment though. Maybe because I think I look good. Also I have some Neal Stephenson to read, and there's enough tequila in this house to make me believe in your God for a month.

Fillin the void

Everyone's back! I'll never have to be lonely again!

I think I might be approaching PMS time because of certain clues popping up. Like being crazy. Most women at least have the definite knowledge it's PMS, because the calendar emphatically tells them it is so. Not me unfortunately. My biological rhythms would make the Worst Song in the World, like Will Farrell in that Saturday Night Sketch with the cowbell. It's always fun and surprises when my next period will be. Did I just win the pregnancy lotto? Should I sell the baby? NO, it's just one of those 2-month cycles this "month."

I will be dyeing my hair bright blue soon. I don't have a job and don't need a job where they care about that sort of thing, so it seems like appropriate timing. Since I don't have a job I'm going to do it myself, but I've done various boyfriends and housemates' dye jobs enough that I think I can handle it.

I think I might have to give up on a couple web comics soon, most notably nataliedee (in addition to her husband's comic and their joint effort married to the sea). I can't decide whether she's just not living up to funny standards or whether I'm taking her harsh attitude personally. She's probably fun in person too, but sometimes I'm too sensitive for anger, layin down the copyright law, and crude humor on the internet. Maybe I'm just puffy PMS. I bet if she drew a puffy sickly pink PMS monster in that cutesy style of hers we would be cool again.

Anyway, I've read a lot of internet comics lately and am continually revising the funny/meaningful standards. If you have any new comics that you think might meet my exacting criteria, send me an email and I'll check it out. If I don't say anything I probably didn't like it. It happens.

Web comics

Someone in the playground ghosts forum is soliciting web comics for her site while she is out of touch for a week doing romantic things with her SO. This is a pretty popular thing to do among web comic artists. They're a pretty tight-knit community and often have lots of crossover. For a split second I toyed with the idea of submitting a guest strip. I don't have any experience with this sort of thing at all, but really, why not right? My experience lies in the thousands of internet comics I have read over the past year. I know what makes a good strip. Do internet comic artists ever play around with video? Maybe a few panels with 5 seconds or so of video would be cool. Not too much, it would just get overwhelming. Maybe a still strip with a surprise ending in the last panel that takes place in video. Hmmmmm... I'm not very web-savvy but this could be just the sort of artistic endeavor that motivates me to learn a little about web design.

I've got my first eczema outbreak since leaving Boston. In-between my fingers. I knew it was gonna happen, my hands have been hurting and dry almost since I got here, and lotion hasn't really helped. Thanks a lot Dad! Migraines from Mom, Social phobia and allergies to everything from Dad. Genetics are a bitch.

Checkin out the scene

This week I made it my mission to check out the local dance scene. I looked and looked. Tumbleweed blows by. Finally I found this breaks event and checked it out last night. No one was dancing. This one girl who was friends with all the djs bopped around a little. I screwed up my courage and started dancing, because dancing and drinking by yourself is more fun than sitting and drinking by yourself. Afterwards she clapped me on the back and gushingly thanked me. I made her night.

Other than that high point, the whole thing was kind of boring. The 4 djs were doing this weird thing of rotating back and forth every 10 minutes, but not in a nice flowing way. Also, the music was boring. They didn't seem to have any audience relationship at all. Finally at one point this guy started doing The Robot and that's when the dj decided to make the music decay in a mess of noise, with badly placed record scratching. I think San Francisco has made me a bit of a music snob. I really miss it right now! At least this party we're throwing at the end of the month, Heist, will be good.

The bar, Bodega, had a main room upstairs where a punk concert (complete with stage netting) was taking place and a couple decent beers on tap, which is pretty rare around here. Francisco was kind enough to come out and rescue me/keep me company/drink beers 40% smaller than mine. Thanks man! I don't have any friends here, especially with everyone back home for Burningman, so it has been quite challenging figuring out how to live. I know it will improve soon, especially after I audition for a few choirs and create a real project to work on, but right now.... I have way too much time to think about the right way to live. I think of something to do and then nix it as not the right way to live. This is crazy! How do I make myself stop thinking for a while? I don't think at yoga but yoga is hard, I really can't make myself go to that every day. One might suggest I get a job. I guess I can just quit it if I don't like it or if they won't let me leave for 3 weeks in December. More action! Less worryin! Channel Chris Yates and make some toys/visit giant balls of yarn/talk to aliens.

Why are you still here? GO!

SuperStudent

What is the SuperStudent [TM Copyright Sometime Next Year DO_NOT_USE_THIS_PHRASE_FOR_PROFIT no.animals.were.harmed.during.the.making.of] ?

The SuperStudent is a self-styled permanent or majority-of-time permanent student. (S)He may or may not go on to graduate level formal study. However, his/her own research and education efforts continue throughout his/her life in a less formal way. The SuperStudent recognizes learning for it's own sake. Continuing to learn means a majority of mental effort is going towards unprofitable (in the monetary sense) pursuits so therefore the SuperStudent has to either:

A) Subsist on lowered income, perhaps as a result of inevitable periods of non-work and/or low-paying low-skill low-stress employment, or

B) Have a constant cash flow from skillful manipulation of a starter bank of funds, either through family/inheritance/legacy or from an early career of saving and scrimping/selling the soul to "The Man."

The majority of SuperStudents lower the national average of consumerism, simply because more brain power/energy/life force/chi is going towards intellectual pursuits and less is available for more traditional "American" consumerist activities. This is sometimes thought of as a drain on the system/Unamerican, but in this humble writer's opinion it merely brings the average of expenditure towards a more reasonable amount. In most cases the SuperStudent's ratio of income:expenditure does not differ significantly from the national average/ratio that supports a healthy capitalist society because the quantities of figures on either side of the ratio have been lowered, preserving a healthy ~ 1:1 ratio.

The majority of SuperStudents also stop being SuperStudents for brief periods of their lives, usually for emotional enrichment. This is sometimes called a "breakdown" and is often brought on by the ordinary varieties of human tragedy such as: Divorce, death, philosophical/religious slip, environmental catastrophe, etc. There is nothing shameful about this unstable state, the trick is to remember that it IS unstable and without continual significant influx of energy/angst/further worsening of events, the state will soon dissolve and SuperStudent status will once again be granted.

SuperStudent daily study can be maintained through several methods. The smart SuperStudent realizes that self-growth can be brought on not only via the traditional method of reading books on a table/desk/computer but also through physical activity, new life experiences, and still contemplation. Low energy physical activity such as walking is especially useful, for it maintains a certain activity and energy level of the mind that sitting tends to stamp out. Bursts of higher energy activity can be useful for evening out the lower levels brought on by extensive sitting. The SuperStudent does not fight the urge to nap but does what (s)he can to maintain an alert state when not napping. Spending the majority of the time in extreme levels of (non)alertness, rather than in the dazed in-between level so often seen in the modern day worker, is a major benefit of the SuperStudent lifestyle.

It is (in this writer's opinion) unfortunate that the SuperStudent lifestyle is not demonstrated as a viable "career" choice to children. Many proponents of the lifestyle believe the societal benefit of having a large ever-ready supply of thinkers is grossly underestimated because there are few/subtle short-term benefits. It is well known that humans tend to underestimate actions with small short-term but plentiful long-term benefits, for obvious reasons. It is my hope that as current environmental circumstances worsen exponentially, creating greater and greater short AND long term consequences for society, the virtues of slow thought and permanent student status will once again be valued as the life-enhancing gems they are.