Change of plan(e)

I just bought a flight to Reno for Burningman, and then am taking the biodiesel bus from the airport. Aaaahhhh. I feel crazy! I used up my airline miles, but I think it's the right choice. My ride out was getting more and more complicated, and now I'm only missing 1 class instead of 2. Ok ok, I just needed to write that down in order to feel less crazy. Phew.

I feel pretty nuts right now. There are too many things going on. It's exciting, but very overwhelming for this low-stimulus introvert. I like doing 1 thing at a time. Then I can be sure that all decisions made are correct, all information is filed, and peace is upheld. It's a very controlling way to live, but I don't know how people can live other ways. I get super anxious if I don't follow protocol. Ah well, it's all a work in process. I'm not as crazy as I used to be. As long as I can keep saying that, life will be moving in the correct direction.

Oh, and for others playa bound: I will be camping btwn 5:00 and 4:30, on the esplanade side of A street, with the Flaming Lotus Girls sub-camp within Illumination Village.

A continued Affair

The A game is continuing! I have been working really hard this week on all sorts of things - school administrative issues, burningman rides/prep/crafts, GRE's, take-home job work, etc. I love having a desk at home. It is a simple affair with 4 metal legs and a rectangular table on top, piled high with papers and crafts. It feels really good to be kicking this much ass. I had a mini stress-out today and ended up eating a bunch of crap, but I seem to have gotten over that hurdle.

My health problem is getting better which is a huge relief. I've got to got to get that health insurance plan finalized this week. I don't have time to be stressing out over non-existent future medical bills. I'm not following my former boss down that path. Hell no, this lady is not dying because of a hesitation over hospital care. This lady is living a smart life, and dying for smart or at least surprising reasons.

I spent a lot of money this week (A lot for me is $200). I'll be spending $140 more on a textbook, and $130 on my class. In the grand scheme of things, these expenses no longer matter. I've hidden my credit cards and am only using my bank card from now on, so I can't get myself in too much trouble, right? Well, except for that whole, I have no emergency/tax funds thing. I don't care anymore. I'm done stressing about money and conservation. My life is damn good, and I'm not going to keep pretending it's not. Why stress about ghosts?

Optimization for Education

This week I decided to put on my A game. A for Academic. I decided not to go to work today and instead to spend the day researching what I need to do to get my educational goals back in front of me, instead of behind all the lovely partying and socializing I spend most of my time doing. It feels good to be serious again. UCSF apparently has the #2 graduate nursing program in the country. The deadline for the accelerated (MEPN) nursing program is September 1st, and it has a less than 10% acceptance rate. I was freaking out over that deadline, until I realized there was no way to get my GRE scores in time, so now I can relax and do everything I need to this year to be a fantastic candidate for next year. I'll take things one at a time and enjoy myself. I'm actually looking forward to doing things like Human Physiology and Anatomy, taking the GRE, and volunteering in an emergency ward. It feels good to be doing things. I'm shaking my head at the years I haven't been doing things, but I guess that's part of what life is. Ebb and flow, energy and sloth.

My brain has finally recovered from the past weekend. It was indeed a Terrible Tuesday, but I am feeling great now, and that overall my decisions this past weekend were for the good. It got me thinking about a lot of big picture stuff and put me on this path of righteous motivation I'm walking on today. I'm so impressed by everyone I know who's gotten it together enough to recreate their careers and/or return to school, and I'm excited to join them someday soon.

I also cleaned my room this morning, which shouldn't affect my mental state so much, but it totally does. Why does a clean house create a calm mind? An empty floor creates space for me to think. I guess I just have to accept this aspect of my personality and do what needs to be done to optimize my thinking.

The neighbors are yelling at each other. What else is new.

Guinea Pig

Time to whore out my blogging skills for free herbal supplements. I'm taking Leitzin to combat lethargy/irritability and writing about it. So far no big deal, but I've been hella skimping on the dosage. I probably don't really need a substance like this, but I like neuro-experimentation (duh) and free things. They sent me a butt-load of the stuff. If you're interested in finding out whether anything ever happens, feel free to follow my boring-as Evolver blog.

I went to the FnF campout this weekend. It was very strange, didn't really feel like FnF at all. I missed a lot of stuff going on because, well, I had a private cabin and used it well. Ahem. Also, the new space at Saratoga Springs is really spread out, and, additionally, I was actively avoiding certain people. A lot of key peeps were missing, but it gave me a chance to meet some new people. I wrote Cecilia a poem at the memorial alter, which was satisfying. I didn't eat any of the food I brought, which was maybe the only way this year resembled past years.

Oh well, I'd had a smidgen of hope that relations would magically repair themselves through the passage of time, but things unfortunately went pretty much as expected. Fortunately, I had one excellent distraction. Things in that area of my life are pretty much perfect these days :D Sorry, I'm trying to restrain myself from mentioning anything, but aaahhh, then I have nothing to talk about here! My filter list is 10 pages long these days and it's driving me crazy!