If life were a video game rating you on how disgusting you were, then this weekend I'd be triple-scoring. I've been having some sort of internal contest to see how greasy and slick my hair can get without hair products, and am proud to say I no longer need a headband or clip to keep my bangs slicked back. I've eaten a wide and awful variety of food. Today I only left the house for carbs and mimosas, and then spent the rest of the day on the couch, reading this terribly trashy series of books Kris has, about the Uglies and the Pretties. Terrible. Perfect. I've been too lazy even to check the internet. That last sentence is so confusing I can't figure out what to do with my hands when I reread it.

Well, I was quite hungover this morning from Nikhila's bachelorette party last night, so that's a reasonable excuse for some of my inactions. I don't know though, maybe I'm out of practice at dealing with hangovers since I haven't had one since NZ.

Oh man, the party. We learned some sweet burlesque dance moves (we also kept hydrated during the 2 hour dance class with sparkling wine, I bet that has something to do with the hangover) - nipple tassles, boas, cleavage, a cake shaped like a youthful female penis... Next was dinner at Basil Thai - duck curry puffs, spicy noodles, sake sake, eggplant roti, sake. Finally a bit of San Francisco car parking excitement, and then an 80's prom night dance party - some of the girls got crimped, teased, and blushed into shining beauty nightmares. All in all, worth 2 hangovers. Nikhila seems pretty chill compared to tv bridezillas, she's doing a swell job with the marriage preparation. Also, so awesome of her friends to pick a bachelorette activity for her that combined exercise, dressing up, sexiness and chocolate into one event, they know her well.

Tomorrow I might wash my hair, unpack my clothes, and eat some vegetables. And even start yoga.

Sounds like it's coming from inside my head

I just finished cold emailing all the San Francisco naturopaths, and a few of the South Bay ones as well. Ah. That's a nice load off. I already received a really nice phone call back from one of them, explaining she just hired someone this week, but if it doesn't work out, she is keeping me in mind. It's nice to get some human follow-up even if nothing comes of it, because then it's not just me screaming into the void.

Kate arrived on LI yesterday. There is some intense Speedage going on here now. One of my sisters has always snored, and the other one recently found out that she now snores (I heard it last night, it is some significant snoring). And now I find out I sometimes snore, according to Zoe's friend who stayed over last week between our beds, in "surround-sound snoring." Oh no! I'm one of THOSE people! I can't begrudge Francisco anymore, or wonder why he doesn't try out those nose strips or something, because I sure don't want to use that stuff. Crap. Maybe I should take up the didgeridoo, I hear it exercises helpful muscles. Maybe it's because I don't sing full blast ever anymore. I'm hoping it's only happening because I sometimes sleep on my back these days. It's a position I can sacrifice if I have to. Everyone knows my first love is the side fetal curl, when I have sufficient pillowage.

I must say, I'm really proud of myself these days. I've been driving myself on to accomplish something every day. It feels good. Yesterday I found out many public libraries have free versions of Rosetta Stone language software online (Zoe actually deserves the credit for this discovery, and is using it to learn Italian for her Wwoof Italia experience). I am now a proud student of basic Spanish, Latin America edition. Yay! Another reason to get a library card if you haven't already. Libraries are part of what make our country great. When I first moved to San Francisco and was broke and aimless, sfpl rescued my ass (and the asses of a lot of homeless people, as I found out when I went inside).

Time Travel: Difficult

I don't know what happened to me, but somehow I managed to read all my old diaries and notes from second thru twelfth grades today. It was intensely sentimental. I guess I got in the mood after seeing people from the past at Z's graduation party yesterday. Oh, and I also met up with Jessica, my childhood neighbor, this afternoon. She seems the same, but better.

My family often accuses me of being unsentimental, but I think I avoid accumulating stuff from the past or reviewing memories because I'm TOO sentimental, and my heart hurts too much. I'd almost rather not have this stuff continuing to exist, but my mother won't let me throw it out. I read a few of the letters out loud, and Z complemented me on my amazingly mature fairness as a 14 year old. Yeah, I guess I was a good kid. I kept my emotions strongly in check, but I respected my friends and tried to see all sides of the matter. Now I have a strong desire to track down my high school boyfriend Dan. He had vanished off of the internet when I last looked in college, but it would be cool to know how he's doing. I must've kept every note he sent me or something, because I seem to have a few from every week we dated. Boy was he an effusive writer. I was so cold compared to him.

Bringing things back to the present, I just found out another good friend of mine has caught the pregnancy bug. Wishing you the best of luck, with as relaxing a birth as possible, a quick return to former weight levels afterwards, and a baby that adjusts to 9 solid hours of sleep every night within the first few months.

I can't wait to go to Las Vegas this coming weekend. I miss my friends and having a regular life. (Rereading this it sounds like I'm implying Vegas is normal life.) I want to go out and party! No matter how earnestly I tell myself that simplicity is the key to life satisfaction, sometimes after a month of being wholesome I need a little oontz, ass and beer. I want to go to a party where I know the color of everyone's underwear. Too much to ask?

Ideas and dreams of all kinds

Burningman: Statue of Abraham Lincoln, holding out his hat (has lid on top). Inside hat is papers with dreams for people...in case they need one.

Fight with Lewis Black against corporations that exploit tax loopholes on July 17.

Finally get that Wolphin subscription. Throw in a subscription to Nutrition Action while I'm at it. Oh, and of course Bust. These 3 magazines successfully cover all my magazine interests. Kris leaves US Weekly lying around for those...other times.

Aerial Acrobatics class

A living room setup that easily allows me to exercise while watching tv (without annoying roomates)

A youtube series on fitness and metacognitive function. Soundtrack suggestions welcome.

1) Get Job 2) Donate Laptop 3) Save $ for graduate school

Enjoy serious conversations with Francisco

Eat no more snack cakes until January 28, 2009

I've been refining YogaDance! this morning. It's becoming more specialized, and I worry whether people with minimal dance or yoga experience will actually be able to do it, but oh well. It makes me feel good, and will be fun to videotape and edit once I'm reunited with my camcorder (and Francisco's editing software) again.

Yesterday I updated my resume, so that's a relief. I gotta do my taxes before June 15 and, um, start applying to jobs now. That's about all that's on my radar at the moment. I had a great time up in Montreal last week, although already it seems so far away, especially after spending 2 or 3 (slightly weird) days in Vermont. It was a relief to get back to LI and the internet, that's for sure. I'm not sure what to think of Mom and George's relationship, but it gave me a slightly itchy irritated feeling. I'm allergic to power struggles or something.

I'd always assumed it would be slightly easier to get bored when you get older, as certain activities become monotonous. In case you were wondering, that assumption is false. I remember that hellish summer I spent on LI after my first year of college, doing almost nothing and lying on the couch all the time. That was the worst. I didn't even realize I was depressed at the time, because it was a new state for me. Anyway, that was really boring, so I was worried that I might get a little down and bored spending all this time on LI without a job. It turns out, as long as you keep engaging your mind, it eventually gets into the habit of always finding interesting puzzles to ruminate on, and it becomes close to impossible to get bored. I keep finding new things to think about, because I have basic understanding of more concepts/events/people. We should teach our children more about how to become intellectually obsessed with things, rather than retaining facts. It's important to start boredom busting habits young, to create hope and minimize depression, as well as creating enthusiasm for solving the most difficult problems. People say this stuff all the time, but I wanted to chime in my support for the idea.

Tomorrow I'm going to New Haven to visit Vis and Audrey, her new baby. It feels good to have domestic tasks. I don't think it would be too bad to be one of those bustling middle age women who creates strong community networks and in her spare time tests various stain removal methods. Travel and adventure is so 2007.