Fall dee dall

It is definitely Fall. No matter how independent I may seem to be from the inexorable cycling of our planet, when fall is well underway I slow way down. I am stuck in a zone of cuddling and root vegetables. I don't feel the need to get hyped up on caffeine. It's not worth the effort. I don't crave excitement or flirtatious encounters, parties or inebriation. I'm more for the napping, movies, hot tubs and crafting end of the spectrum.

This is my slow and uninteresting fall entry for the week. Dig in, because it's what you're gonna be getting for the next few months. I don't have any desire to inspire or amaze. I'll be making crab cakes with Erik for thanksgiving. Ooooh. Aaaahhh. His parents will continue to find me friendly, and afterwards we'll play some beatles rock band with them. Can you stand the excitement!?

Oh, I guess one kind of exciting thing is that last week I got to go to a live studio taping of Important Things with Demetri Martin. For some unclear reason I got a production VIP ticket, which allowed me to cut hundreds of people in line and sit front and center in the studio. Look for me in the audience when it airs in February. Also, I volunteered at BATS improv in SF this weekend, further digging my fingers into the local improv community. And finally, we transferred our brewing belgian ale to a smaller carboy, to continue on with the fermentation for a while longer before doing the final fermentation in the bottles (I believe it's called bottle conditioning). Erik is documenting the process here. I like beer. You'll be allowed to taste this batch round about xmas.

Oh, also, my sister Kate is now dating this guy we went to high school with, that neither of us had seen in close to a decade. It reminds me of when Mr. Kapiloff used to yammer on in social studies class about how we'll all end up married to someone who grew up within 5 miles of where we grew up. There's no way that's going to happen to me, but who knows, Kate may be able to rock this fake fact from a chatty Jewish high school teacher. I like it.

Relations

Oh, relationships. It's really hard to find the correct balance. I want independence and passion for things outside of it, and obviously I want these things for my compatriot as well, but I also want, well, you know, girl things. I don't want to feel like I'm forgotten about between weekends. Just a mini check-in, a, "how are you doing?" would be nice. Sometimes I think Erik likes me so much because I pretend to be cooler than I really am, a carefree and passionate independent lady who touches down on his base now and again for silly fun times before wheeling off into my busy life. Really, I just hold back because I know how he feels about consuming relationships, about how BAD co-dependence is, about how he will always be involved in several different consuming projects that siphon off most of his passion. And of course I understand. I mean, part of the reason I love him is because of his creative and ridiculously giddy drive to make things. It's friggin awesome. I've never spent so much time with a real maker. I guess Audrey is the closest I've come :) And it's so not part of my nature, and I admire it deeply. BUT. But but but. It's been 4 months. I can't be cool for much longer. I don't know what I want, but this is leaning a bit too much to one side. I always forget about these feelings when I'm with him during the weekend, because we're having a great time, but it often starts to creep in on Tuesday or Weds evening, and hits me full steam Thursday night. It is 11:14pm on a Thursday night, and I am sitting in my bed in a bathrobe trying to figure out what it is that will make me happy, where the correct balance is, what brings me the most joy.

This is a good time of year to be asking these questions. It's dark and colder (kinda lukewarm, which is almost as bad as it gets these parts). I miss the sun. I'm eating more and huddling in my bed for hours each evening. It doesn't help that 2 of my classes didn't meet this week. Too much time on my hands to obsessively think about money and relationships.

Oh man, it's like he's psychic, he totally just texted me. And there's the call....Oh dude, he's coming by and taking me to his place and we're gonna work from home together tomorrow. Do you know what this means!?!?!

It means I am happy. :)))))) And, I haven't gotten sick this season. Healthy miracle of miracles, for someone who works in a doctor's office. Actually, the creepiest sign got posted downstairs in the acupuncture clinic. There's one of those big red circles with a line through it, enclosing the word "flu." The sign says no one with symptoms of a respiratory infection may enter, that they will prescribe herbal immune-boosting supplements for you but will not treat you if you have flu-like symptoms. We kinda wanted to add an addendum to the sign saying, "Please continue on upstairs for treatment."

I find flu paranoia fascinating. I haven't had the flu since I was a child (I must've had it at least once during my childhood???) and am not totally sure what it feels like, but the fact that I never catch it makes me particularly blase about the whole thing....I totally deserve to catch it now. C'mon sickies, do your worst! Let's share a beverage and stick our fingers in each other's mouths. Viral porn, the latest and greatest sub-sub-genre in the world of kink. No, but seriously, most people I know are in their 20s and 30s, with no immune-compromising issues. What is with the hyped-up fear? I don't get it. We're not going to be hospitalized if it happens. As long as we have a willing slave to bring home soup and tea and large-font magazines, what can go wrong?

WHAT CAN GO WRONG INTERNET? I HAVEN'T KNOCKED ON A WOODEN SURFACE ONCE DURING THIS POST, BUT HEY, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN, ON THIS DAY 18 DAYS BEFORE MY HEALTH INSURANCE KICKS IN?

Ok, time to change out of this bathrobe and into something car-ride appropriate. Hallelujah, it's a fine day to be alive.