Pressure

Today I learned how to take blood pressure readings. We did a lab on muscle fatigue, and one of the steps was to "use the automatic blood pressure/pulse machine." But we are city college and too broke ass for that sort of equipment, so we had to learn how to use manual cuffs on the fly. Good thing one of the people in my group is a medical assistant. It was a piece of cake. I kinda want to get my own cuff and stethoscope and give people blood pressure readings at events.

Also today I got to talk to England on the phone. It was all like, fuh fuh harumph fuh fuh. Liver, potatoes.

No, not really. Actually it sounded a lot like Erik. Whodathunk?

Now I am going to eat Tim Tams and tea. Thanks Allen and Sarah!

I am back on track and feeling good again. The party was silly and chill for the most part, and I feel more like one of the gang now. I didn't go nuts, and instead spent most of Sunday studying (after the first 4 hours when I was totally drunk on mimosas. well, I started off with mimosas and ended up chugging sparkling wine from the bottle. oj only gets in the way sometimes.) I definitely aced that test. Now I can focus on some improv again, which I've been neglecting. I haven't gone to a single show or jam this class! Terrible. The shows are free and hilarious. That's it, next free Saturday night I have, I don't care what boys or friends want to do, I am going to a show.

hmmm, maybe I just needed to eat something and unwind from work. ah.

Today was not meant to be

Man today just does not want me around. I'm feeling super sad right now. No one's returning my email or phone calls, and I feel really left out and discarded. This definitely sucks. I hate when I feel like this.

I also hate that ever since all the shit went down in April-June, I constantly judge every action I make. I'm always considering, "Does this action/thought/writing mean I am a bad person? If I do this, does that make me not a bad person?" I've become obsessed with being a bad person, and things I can do to not be a bad person. It's not a good way to live. It's taken me a long time to realize I've been doing this.

:(

Please, may tomorrow be better.

A Formal Summary

You knew that once you decided on the four-pack rather than the single serve, that you were dooming yourself today, right?

I ask you, why do these decisions happen without my input? I know all about the separate nervous system our digestive tracts operate under, but I wanna shake my head back and forth and scream, "You're not the boss of me!"

Ok, enough of that. Let's get some life summary action going on here.

First off, school rocks. I love being a student, even if for only 2 nights a week. I was born to study and memorize things. Seriously, while other kids were angsting about tests, I was twirling my zebra-colored pencil in my hands and fantasizing about how perfectly I'd fill those bubble cards in when I got the chance. Studying is fun. MIT made it not-so-fun, because it's pretty much impossible to retain facts when you're in permanent cortisol stress mode, but since I'm taking physiology at city college, we have definitely stepped back into the fun zone.

Second, burningman was super chill and a really lovely cap to the summer. Almost no one I knew was there, so I had lots of solo and 2 person adventures. It was fun to help my sister out and observe her reactions.

Third, work is exploding. 2 or 3 new people are coming on starting in October. I am organized and on top of things and hopefully a) I will be getting more hours and therefore more money and b) it will be so busy that I'll be able to hire a receptionist to take over on Saturdays, and either Fridays or Mondays.

Fourth, I am hanging out with this really cool guy Erik these days, that you probably already know about but I felt like a tool writing about it on here before now. But la la la it is so awesome and blah blah blah we are cute. I'd had every intention of remaining single and fierce for the entire summer, but only managed to make it through June. But you know what? I am STILL powerful and fierce. I fix this state in my mind, and do the things I am passionate about, and only make compromises where it is important, and TA DA, I am still here and still being me. I foresee lots of excellent times ahead. I like him a lot a lot a lot, and I love the person I am around him. We shall see what happens, internet.