Also, I really needed to pee afterwards.

Chiropractic is weird and awesome! I don't know if all chiropractors are like the one I went to (Dr Rubin has a strong San Francisco-y energy work holistic attitude towards his work), but it was not what I expected at all. So, I went on a job interview with him a couple weeks ago, and he offered all interview-ees a free appt. Being poor and curious, I jumped on that bandwagon like a...um...member of the band. They must like group things at Northpoint Chiropractic, because first there was the group interview, and then it was a group session of health participants (they refuse to call clients "patients," and I'm struggling to come up with a better term). It was actually really neat to be in a group setting, to hear everyone's groans, sighs, and snippets of conversation. At one point this man with a strong accent went through something intense on the other side of the room (it sounded like a staple gun, and the doctor even called it that! Terrifying!) and the man said, "It's like love. You never know when it's gonna hurt or not." I think he said it better than that, but most of the room started giggling, which helped me relax more.

Anyway, it started off with some light, precise, and asymmetrical touching, which made me feel...kind of slanted? And warm. At one point he did something to my feet and it felt like he was holding his hands a mm off them for a couple minutes, until I heard his voice on the other side of the room. My face and chest felt really warm and funny. I was like, "Holy crap, this is fo realz!" In later passes the adjustments got more intense, and there was definitely some crackage of my mid/upper back (aahh, the perfect spot that I didn't even realize was scrunched up) and my neck. I've never had my neck cracked before, but it didn't hurt at all. It was just...intense. The whole thing was intense and strange. He did something to my jaw at the very end and asked me if I "bite my tongue (metaphorically)" and that whole exchange made me tear up. He gave me a stuffed bear to hold at the end. I thought it was a pillow at first and was kinda lying there stunned. Then I looked down to find this teddy bear staring up at me. Somehow it didn't feel awkward at all. What a weird and wonderful experience. Energy work sounds ok to me now.

Which is good, because I read this article and this follow-up letter yesterday and was questioning my whole decision to enter alternative medicine. Dr. Atwood's arguments against naturopaths as primary care physicians were cogent and sound, and I look forward to being that annoyingly sceptical student who questions the scientific validity of every naturopathic remedy. And, alternatively, questions whether a large double-blind study is the only evidence strong enough to support wide-spread use of a specific method or remedy.

Sorry Burningman, I have other priorities. You are still in the back of my mind, but my life is too important right now to schedule around you.

People have started offering me affordable tickets. My inability to accept them must mean something, and I guess I'm ok with that. My life is changing so quickly these days and things are getting interesting enough that Burningman is more like a weighty nuisance than a rewarding adventure.

Oh well, aging.

We had a really good housewarming party yesterday. A lot of people came. I was surprised to wake up at 2am and hear people downstairs still partying it up on a Sunday night, but that's the kind of crazy people we know. Some out-of-towner pikans showed up randomly, and the MIT factor was pretty overwhelming until about 10 o'clock, after which only the hardened partykidz had enough stamina to keep things going. There's still some mess downstairs, and I found some pretty horrific stuff on the porch this morning, but all in all the mess was totally manageable, and the floors are only subtly sticky. The dishwasher has a new and exciting drool problem.

subtly sticky, maybe that would be a good band name or email address.

My financial situation has officially reached the point where I am willing to accept temp work. The temp agency is my bitch, I am not it's bitch. Maybe if I repeat that enough times it will sink in, and I won't fall into the temp hole again.

The temp hole: Where apathetic admins go to die.

On today's list: apply to a volunteer job, close NZ bank account and extract all funds from them, ask MIT for my transcript, stay positive, stay focused, finish cleaning dripwasher.

Hearts California

Let me tell you why I love California.

I am currently unemployed. For some reason I never put 2 and 2 together to figure out that this means I'm "low income." I went to Planned Parenthood today for a gynecology exam, and, after filling out a questionnaire, discovered that I was entitled to FREE HEALTH CARE. I thought it was free because PP is a nice place that takes care of poor people, but later on I headed over to Walgreens to fill a prescription, which I found out would cost THREE HUNDRED FORTY SEVEN DOLLARS. Out of curiosity I handed them the green card that PP had given me. Once again, my costs were ZERO DOLLARS.

Today I saved ~$600, because California is a nice place. I feel like crying. Outside of K-12 schooling and libraries, I've never taken advantage of public benefits before. It's really empowering to know there is so much available. There is no shame in taking advantage of these things. Sometimes we need them.

Using public health care today makes it very difficult for me to justify expensive dinners and events for a good while. If I'm telling people I have zero income, I should really start acting like it. It's hard to resist when so many people around me enjoy the fruits of their computer labors on lavish meals, festivals, camping weekends, and elaborate parties, but I think today's lesson will help enforce my abstention... at least for a while. Um, not including fnf. Or that campout the following weekend. Or party costs for our housewarming this weekend.

CRAP!

The Excellent Day

Yay! Behind the back weave! I'm doing this poi performance at the fnf campout and was instructed by Jessi to practice practice practice. So I have been, and somehow, the performance incentive made me learn the btb weave. I've been trying that move for the past year and a half with no success! I found this really great instructional video at poiplay. This site has really gotten me inspired. If you're like me and stalled out after learning all the basic beginner moves, these videos are really fun to watch, and break things down into easily learnable steps. Next up I'm going to tackle antispin moves and isolations.

We forgot about Francisco's birthday until about 11pm the night before, but somehow managed to cobble together a birthday plan for yesterday. We went out for dinner at Millennium (vegan heaven, a little surprising that it was Francisco's choice, but very very pleasing), and then onward to the Velvet Cantina for drinks, where an excellent number of people managed to make it out on a Tuesday night. I'm glad F had a good bday, even if there were no surprises from me. So terrible. Ah well, I know he'd do the same for me :)

Oh yeah, and Zoe flew off for Italy yesterday too. Too many awesome things happening, help! She'll be organic farming, something I always meant to do in NZ but never got around to for...laziness reasons I guess. Mom says she's already having to speak Italian, out of necessity.

But enough about all that, it's Nikhila's wedding this weekend!!! When I first met her we were both in a bad state, and took walks together commiserating over breakup heartache, so it's extremely satisfying to see her getting married now. The present day is shiny and hopeful, and the past is dead, a humorous footnote in the glory of our current lives. Yay for Nikhila! May your future be full of satisfaction and love, with short bits of the interesting kind of challenges, and long bits of relaxation.

Clarity

Sometimes it's really scary to have a clear head, because you know exactly what you need but are not quite ready to adapt to solve that need. Also, you're fully aware of how to solve your own shortcomings, but still stubbornly refuse to accept the solution hitting your head.

Anyway.

We just got home after seeing the new Will Smith movie Hancock. I am in bed with The Sneak. I can tell she's been outside because her fur is on the cold side. Before the movies we went on a little hike around Muir beach. It was good to be outside. We visited Green Gulch Farm and sat around for a while in a zen spot surrounded by apple trees and bamboo. That place would be fun to meditate and farm at for a couple weeks. The produce looked healthy and easy to grow. I wonder if I've ever eaten anything from there. I wonder if I could grow stuff like that. My NZ roommate said it takes years to get a good feel for gardening.

I have a job interview this week. It's close to what I want to do, but not ideal. I want something perfect to come through, but I also don't want to wait too long. I think perhaps it's not a terrible thing to give a clear picture of my goals and dreams during the interview, and then accept the job if they decide to hire me. We'll all be on the same page, and they'll know what I want, and that I'm planning on going back to school. Then if something perfect shows up, no one will be surprised if I decide to change jobs.

I just found out that even though I had zero US income last year, I still receive an economic stimulus check, since I declared in my taxes that I earned money in NZ. $300, surprise! Here Vanessa, have some food for a few weeks. You earned it. Love, the US government. My check comes on Friday supposedly.

I wonder if the NZ gov owes me any money, since I didn't work a full year there but was taxed as though I did. Wouldn't that just be AMAZING!?

Clean hair

I'm over the hump!

I have a small health thing bugging me, but other than that, things are good. My greasy weekend was PMS, how boringly unoriginal. C'mon, is that the best you got body.

Some of Francisco's friends from NZ are in town at the moment, so last night we went out to El Metate followed by Tres Agaves for some fine burritos and tequila. They are fun people, and easy to relax around, as I find many kiwis to be. Last night really struck home how much I miss NZ. Not really the scenery or Wellington, but the people. I still find the people here a bit too intense, but my filters are back up now and I'm successfully ignoring much of the noise. My system easily gets overloaded, and I'm sure all you introverts out there can understand where I'm coming from.

Still mostly job-hunting. It's great to not have to stress about it, what with some savings and a lot of help from Francisco. I can really take my time finding an appropriate position. I'd be thrilled to find one in the next few weeks of course, but I'm not sweating bullets and signing up with temp agencies yet. I NEVER want to go back to how I felt in my early twenties. The rush and panic out of college, NO THANKS. All of a sudden all your friends are gone. Your new adult routine, home, academic intense lifestyle, all vanishes at once. Suddenly you're supposed to have a new solid plan with long-term goals. I do not envy Zoe one bit. It gets easier sis, I promise!

Joe and Kris are having a raw month, and I'm mostly joining in. We get this organic box every 2 weeks, and I am so into the piles of organic produce we have everywhere. I don't have to worry about anything I eat, and the peaches and tomatoes are insanely good. I recommend you get a box of your own; we get ours from Farm Fresh.

I like nit-picking good movies. We saw WALL-E two nights ago and I "complained" about how the environmental slant wasn't accurate because there's no way trash would ever become the critical problem, as other issues would kill us all off first (atmosphere, ocean, biodiversity). It amused me to read what these guys took offense with regarding the environmental slant.

Anyway, I loved WALL-E. Especially the moment in the beginning when you realize what the weird buildings are, and also when it gradually dawns on you what the humans have been up to since leaving. Pretty fucked up. I wish I had some kids to take to it.